Jirachi

[Cranky Guy]

JIRACHI wakes up only for one week in a thousand years. It will grant any wish that is asked in that short period of time.

Legends say that JIRACHI has the power to grant any wish for one whole week in a thousand years. The eye on its belly is said to be the reason it is able to awake from its sleep.

JIRACHI has the power to teleport items and people. The power it shoots from the eye on its belly is said to be extraordinarily overwhelming.

Legends say that JIRACHI has the power to grant any wish for one week every thousand years. Its true eye is said to be the reason it is able to awake from its sleep.

JIRACHI is said to be able to grant wishes using its potent psychic abilities. However, it will turn poorly worded wishes against the person who wished them.

Legends say that JIRACHI created the lands of Caldera and Kirant as a result of a wish. There have been no recorded sightings of JIRACHI since.

If anyone gets any better ideas than please post them.

[Quinn]

"they eye on its belly" is called it's true eye. Have it something like this (I'm mainly just replacing), Legends say that JIRACHI has the power to grant any wish for one week every thousand years. Its true eye is said to be the reason it is able to awake from its sleep. Hope that helps :)

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

JIRACHI is said to be able to grant wishes using its potent psychic abilities. However, it will turn poorly worded wishes against the person who wished them.

Legends say that JIRACHI created the lands of Caldera and Kirant as a result of a wish. There have been no recorded sightings of JIRACHI since.

Both of these were made by rage, im posting them because hes not here right now. These two have to do with the plot around jirachi.

[Cranky Guy]

Well there's a lot of entries on Jirachi now. Maybe too many?

[Quinn]

But Jirachi rocks!!!!!

[SilentSentinel]

We'll just cut off submissions for now and vote on the ones that have been submitted.

[ImmunityBow]

Or there could be a consensus to eliminate certain options to leave room for more. If I recall correctly Kipporok had a good 12 options by the end.

[Cranky Guy]

OK, to be honest, I think if we have many people giving ideas it would be better. But having too many ideas on hand isnt gonna do any good either. So I think i wanna ask IB if he could tell us what the Jirachi storyline is all about. If we know some things about the Jirachi storyline, we might get an idea on what to write. If IB agrees on telling us, it might help us a lot. So IB, can you tell us what the Jirachi storyline is all about?

[SilentSentinel]

It's not neccesary to know, as knowing might detract from your enjoyment of the game. However, I suggest picking one of the two that I suggested with minimal changes, as many legendaries have dex entries related to their plots, like Groudon and Kyogre.

I'm going to go ahead and vote for my second second one, number 6.

[Cranky Guy]

Il go with rages NO.2, after I change it a bit though.

Change

No recorded sightings of JIRACHI since.

Into

No recorded sightings of it since.

Than ill vote for it.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

Ill vote for that one too.



Change

No recorded sightings of JIRACHI since.

Into

No recorded sightings of it since.

Than ill vote for it.

Why?

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Legends say that JIRACHI created the lands of Caldera and Kirant as a result of a wish. There have been no recorded sightings of JIRACHI since.


I vote for this.

[ImmunityBow]

I prefer the second Jirachi replaced with an "it" as well to avoid repetitions.

CALDERA and KIRANT should be in all caps. I do like the idea.

[SilentSentinel]

Okay then,




Legends say that JIRACHI created the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no recorded sightings of it since.



Do we have to re vote? If so, I vote for this one again.

[ImmunityBow]

Perhaps it's a little lacking in content?

I don't know, the idea is great but it just seems a little too plain and simple.

[SilentSentinel]

How about a change to the second sentence?

Legends say that Jirachi created the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as the result of a wish. It is said to have been sealed inside a hidden cavern shortly after.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Cave seems a little to specific. Maybe just "a secret location"?

[Cranky Guy]

I think we shouldnt change it. I like the original one better. This one sounds as if we actually KNEW it was in a secret location. And if you do want to change it, at least replace "shortly after" with something else.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

What "It is said to have been sealed inside a hidden cavern" also sounds as if we actually KNEW it was in a secret location by your logic aswell then. Since I was suggesting this:

"Legends say that Jirachi created the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as the result of a wish. It is said to have since been sealed inside a secret location."

[SilentSentinel]

This is why I said that no one had seen it since, so we don't have cryptic writing in pokedex entries. They are supposed to sound professional, and if you say its in a secret place, then it implies you know where it is.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

What, more so than the location-specific cave? Secret locations are what you get in myths, Caves however, sounds like you know where it is.
I mean: Oh it's in some hidden cave. Oh it's in a secret location.
Which sounds like the person might know more about where it is?

[SilentSentinel]

They both do. It sounds like they are saying " I can't tell you cause its a secret." These are supposed to be encyclopedia like.

[ImmunityBow]

It's possible simply to replace "secret" with "unknown".

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

that sounds cool

[Cranky Guy]

I think ive got something here.

Legends say JIRACHI created the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as result of a wish. Some people believe that it is now hidden in an unknown location.

What do you think?

[MewLoverEX]

Legends say JIRACHI created the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as result of a wish. Its current location is unknown.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Make it a bit longer:

Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no officalized sightings and so its current location is unknown.

[SilentSentinel]

I like cranky guy's the best.

[Cyndadile]

Shouldn't the entry specify that it hasn't been sighted in Caldera/Kirant? Or has it been absent worldwide?

[NyteFyre]

Cranky's is awesome...

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

It has been absent worldwide. Crank Guys has my vote as well.

[ImmunityBow]

Hmm... my vote would have to go towards BTG's, though I would add a "since" in myself

Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no official sightings since and so its current location is unknown.

[MewLoverEX]

I vote IB's.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

I vote IB's.

[NyteFyre]

IB's does sound a bit better...man, this will probably be the hardest dex entry to officialize...

[SilentSentinel]

Ugh, 4-3.

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

I dont like the grammer in the second sentence.

"There have been no official sightings since and so its current location is unknown."

The "and so" part doesnt seem right to me. I dont know why it just doesnt flow to me for some reason.

[NyteFyre]

Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as the result of a wish. There have been no official sightings, however, so its current location is unknown.

fix'd...not sure if it's better, though...

[MewLoverEX]

Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no official sightings since. Therefore, its current location is unknown.

-or-

Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. However, there have been no official sightings since. Its current location is unknown.

[ImmunityBow]

We generally need two sentences, so could you explain why a full stop is needed? is "and therefore," acceptable? Since "no official sightings" is the cause for "current location unknown", it would seem there's a sufficient connection between the two clauses to warrant a conjunction.

[MewLoverEX]

I agree with MI about omitting the "and so" for the flow of the sentence. I thought it might help to separate the clauses, but I could be wrong. About "and therefore"... I'm not sure.

Alternative/compromise:
Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no official sightings since, so its current location is unknown.

?

[Cranky Guy]

I like IB's (sorry for the long pause. My computer brokedown.)

[Mediocrity_Incarnate]

I like MLEXs version.

[NyteFyre]

Agreed, best version yet.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

I like it (MLEX's).

[ImmunityBow]

Good enough:


Jirachi: Legends speak of JIRACHI creating the lands of CALDERA and KIRANT as a result of a wish. There have been no official sightings since, so its current location is unknown.